case of the crazies

i dropped my kindergartener wyatt off at school this morning and watched him walk away into this wide world armed only with his backpack and lunchbox. he looked so small beside all those big kids. i took seth to the doctor for his four year old checkup and physically held him down while the nurse gave him four shots. he screamed and kicked and yelled, "somebody, please help me!" i said good morning to my darling husband who returned home late last night from his third trip in the last four weeks. i took seth to eat at mcdonald's as a treat for making it through a traumatic experience. i took wyatt out for ice cream after i picked him up from school so that we could spend some time together, just the two of us. he's been so angry lately, and i wanted to give him some undivided attention. i took my crazy (literally) dog out to do his business countless times and made sure he had all his little needs met. i talked on the phone to a dear and wise friend for about an hour. i joined facebook and spent an inordinate amount of time holed up in our computer closet editing my profile and asking to be friends with people and checking out other people's facebook pages.

all the while i'm feeling dizzy from weeks of endless activity and lonely from disconnection with friends, with god, with my heart. add to that the sense that something in my interior life is shifting, something good happening that i'd like to explore.

my husband has been looking at me strangely tonight. he knows the signs of when i've had too much to do and too little time and space to be quiet. i get a little crazy. well, crazier than usual.

this is one of those days when the rotation of the earth feels overwhelming.