i am scheduled to speak at my church this coming sunday. i actually asked for this opportunity, but am now re-thinking that silly little request. the thought of getting up in front of everybody and talking for an extended period of time scares the sh*t out of me. seriously.
but then i remember why i asked to do this. here are some of my words from an email i wrote pertaining to my request:
"over the past 5 - 6 years, god has been calling me out. out of fear, out of shame, out of feelings of worthlessness and uselessness, out of my self-protective sin. calling me to step into the unique woman that he dreamed me into existence to be. and so, these days i am "working out my salvation" by recognizing and using my particular voice (which was silenced for far too many years); by living out my particular calling; and by gathering up my courage and obeying the voice of the spirit of god within me. so, the opportunity to speak would be redemptive for me, and i believe that when god is doing his redemptive, restorative work, he intends for the spiritual community to share in it."
oh, for the sweet love of god. [she said with great fear and trembling.]
i welcome your prayers.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
fear and trembling
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6 comments:
Miska - so many of us already experience the beauty in your words and person. Thanks for stepping out in fear and trembling.
well said shannon. your words have meant so much to me. i know you will find just the right words, whether it's god's words, your words or no words. courage to you!
you have my prayers...and I'm really excited that you're exercising your voice, it is something beautiful.
i am grieving over not being able to be there ... hope to hear it on the podcast. and i will be praying for God to give you the courage to use your voice in the way He intended.
mc-
we all like hearing you speak, mostly because its insightful, but personally i like your thoughts because they're totally badass.
(maybe if you slip a little nip of the sauce in your coffee, it'll take the edge off...)
i'm a fan of your words because they're not meant to impress...which likely plays directly into the fear of vulnerability. but which inevitably results in some serious Truth and requires anyone within earshot to confront it face to face.
keep it real.
I'm so excited that someone else reads george macdonald - my dad introduced me to him a few years back. Sir Gibbe is one of my favorite books, if you haven't read it, i recommend it.
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