new day

i just dropped seth off at preschool. today is his first day, and he could barely get to sleep last night for all of his eager anticipation. his running dialogue this morning consisted of statements like: "i'm so excited to go to school today, mommy." a couple minutes later, "i know i've said this lots of times, but i'm so excited to go to school today, mommy." "i love my new backpack ... i've always wanted a backpack." and about five more times, "i'm so excited to go to school today, mommy." and when i finally said it's time to go, he said, "all right! let's hit it!"

much to his chagrin, i would not just drop him off at the front door of his preschool. i took him to his class, hugged him goodbye, and watched him walk into his room. he didn't look back. you gotta love that about seth, all that openness, the way he walks into something new with the expectation of good things.

now i am sitting in the mudhouse, a coffee shop on main. i have two more hours before i pick seth up from preschool, and i still don't know quite what to do with myself.

i want to be quiet. i want to listen and pay attention, to my own heart and to God's. but i've been so wound up for so long. (this is my way--to flail around, dramatically, chaotically, for a while in the face of change, great or small.)

i can feel that i'm in the latter stages of the flailing. i'm starting to settle down, settle in. and what's starting to bubble up in me is deep gratitude. i am in this city that i've dreamed of for months and months. my kids are adusting, slowly, but they are adjusting. winn is stepping into his place here with his trademark faith that is bold, humble, raw and with a heart that's alive and hopeful. we have a home that is beautiful and filled with light. i'm finding some friends, people whose eyes i can look into and see something familiar that lets me know we might just have something here, folks. one new friend invited me to be a part of her book club, one that is very exclusive and intellectual. (ok, i made that last part up, but a book club! how great is that?)

this was the concluding prayer this morning from the divine hours: Lord God, almighty and everlasting Father, you have brought me in safety to this new day: preserve me with your mighty power, that i may not fall into sin, nor be overcome by adversity; and in all i do direct me to the fulfilling of your purpose; through Jesus Christ my Lord. amen.

amen. he has brought me to this new day.