6 years old

wyatt turned six yesterday, if you can believe it. the night before his birthday, i went up to his room while he was sleeping and just watched him for a while, trying to savor the last little bit of wyatt as a five year old.

he was born at 12:19 a.m. on memorial day of 2002. i stayed up all night long that first night of his life, looking at him. i couldn't take my eyes off of him--he was the most beautiful thing i'd ever seen. the night before last, i felt like i could have stayed up all night again watching him, just drinking him in.

we celebrated his birthday this year by going to an atlanta braves game in atlanta this past weekend and by having a special birthday supper last night. corey and juli came, and so did davis, his best friend from school. he got to open the gift he was hoping for the most--a violin. he's been lobbying for it for over a month now and insists that he already knows how to play it. i'm not so sure. . .

thanks to my friend ginger who introduced me to mypublisher.com, i made wyatt a photobook of the past year of his life. at the end, i wrote down some of our favorite things about him. i'll list them here so you can get just a small picture of what an amazing kid this wyatt of ours is:

• you are curious and inquisitive.
• you love adventure.
• you are brave and strong.
• you are a truth detective.
• you love people.
• you pay attention.
• you are fun to be with.
• you love learning.
• your desire is as big as the sky.
• you dream and think and hope.
• you love to run and run and run.
• you are a great brother.
• you are a good friend.
• you are just what our family needs.

here's to a new year with my sweet and feisty 6 year old boy.

mother's day reflections

if you know me, you know that i do not go around chirping about how wonderful motherhood is. you are, unfortunately, more likely to hear me griping about how my kids are driving me crazy. i love and adore my boys and would give my life for them in a heartbeat, but let's be honest. motherhood is a real stretch for me much of the time. so it was a bit surprising to me today when i realized what i was feeling in the midst of the sunday morning chaos: profoundly grateful--grateful for the experience that mothering is, how it has stretched and softened me and made me more me, and grateful for these two remarkable, astounding, miraculous lives in my care.

being a mother has turned out to be extraordinarily different from what i'd imagined. as wendy wright says in her book seasons of a family's life, "motherhood has been the most formative experience of my life." it's the best thing i've ever done, and also the absolute hardest. i've been covered with every imaginable bodily fluid. i've experienced the torture of sleep deprivation. i've had my body stretched beyond recognition. i've given up any claim to personal space and time. i've had two little people grabbing at me, saying my name over and over a thousand times a day, asking for everything and anything constantly for years now. but what is most awful [awe-full] about this whole parenting thing is that whether we know it or not, as parents we image God's heart to our children. (this, incidentally, is why so many of us have terribly distorted ideas about God. . .)

what a responsibility! the sheer effort alone to keep my boys physically alive is exhausting, and now i'm on display 24/7 as a picture of almighty God?! what kind of set-up is this?

but here's the thing. i'm going to screw up anyway--and have--so i might as well relax and love my boys as well as i can and trust and pray that God will be doing his restorative work along the way.

here's another thing. i teach them, but they teach me, too. an example: just last week, i yelled at seth for something (he has been downright fractious lately). i hate it when i lose my temper. i hate seeing how my angry words dim that light in my boys' eyes. so, a couple minutes later, i went over to him, sat down, and said, "seth, i'm really sorry for yelling at you." he looked at me, smiled that smile of his and answered, "i forgive you! i forgive you a thousand times." if that's not a picture of Christ's heart, then i don't know what is.

here are some of the other things wyatt and seth are teaching me:

• RELAX, for God's sake.
• if you see water in any form--lake, ocean, creek, mud puddle--by all means, get in it.
• candy and popsicles are some of life's greatest pleasures.
• it's okay to get messy.
• play your drums as loudly as possible, and even open the window just so the neighbors can hear.
• sing at the top of your lungs.
• dance anywhere and everywhere.
• sleep is over-rated.
• play, play, play.
• dream.
• say what you think.
• cry when it hurts.
• band aids make you feel better--even if you don't have a boo boo.
• skipping is fun.
• yell "look at me!" when you're doing something noteworthy.
• savor every moment.

so, this is happy mother's day to me. my heart is full.

recent conversations about God

wyatt at bedtime several weeks ago: "i don't care what God looks like [a serious concern of his at times]; i love him, and i'm going to obey him. and [said with some serious attitude] i don't care what the devil looks like; i don't love him, and i'm not going to obey him!"

seth: "church is important. . .school, too. it's where we learn great things about God."

wyatt, looking out the car window at the sky: "the sun is like a little fire where God can warm himself."

a conversation seth and i had on a swing at the park this week:

seth: "i love God. . .but i don't know what he looks like."

me: "well, what do you see in your imagination when you think about him?"

seth: "he has a mustache."

me: "does he have a smile on his face?"

seth: "no, but he's laughing. kinda like 'ho ho ho.'"

one more. on the way to a t-ball game on monday, wyatt was asking me a question about God. i didn't understand his question and probably wouldn't have known how to answer it anyway. he finally gave up trying to explain and said, "nevermind. i'll just ask God when i get to heaven. Seth piped up and said something about the trinitarian nature of God, three in one, or something like that. . .

me: "that's right. there's God the father--

wyatt and seth together: "God the son, and God the holy spirit."

seth: "God the holy ghost."

wyatt: "ooooooh, you said a bad word! mommy, seth called God the holy ghost!"

me: "that's okay. that's just another name for the holy spirit."

silence for a moment. . .

seth in a very small voice: "holy cow."

wyatt: "ooooooh, you'd better not call God a holy cow! Mommy--"